I'm going to need a nicer place to rest my weary head for a little while.
I've had about 12 panic attacks in the last 12 hours and I woke up with my teeth gritted and this angry "GRRRRRRRRRRRR" sound coming from my mouth. I really wish I didn't care so much but it's probably because I'm so damn certain that I'm not going to give this in. Basically got a call from my Dad which is a routine every-never event. Asked him about those things he promised me, cos I hold hope in promises still. I make promises never, so I expect that when others make promises they'll keep. I made promises to Ben, and I've made promises to Jaimee that were just inside my head, I've made promises to myself on a few rare occasions, and I don't ever like to see things flail and fail. But this is it! Promises broken.
It's not money I've ever been after - because I've shown time and again that I can survive on nothing when people aren't prepared to help. Hell, I went to school living on nothing at 15 and he wasn't even prepared to help me then. He was really just being selfish then, my mum on the otherhand was just trying to prove a point - and proving a point is the main contention for causing rifts in my family.
It would appear that you are under some idea that i owe you a life. you forget that i payed your way from the time you were 3 years old. Why should i bother-get your mother to help if she is so good.Lets face it youre probably just going to clear out to Melbourne anyway.
I will not be contacting you again and I suggest you stop calling me for this reason. You've given me nothing that isn't legally demanded of you and most of what I wanted was love and something that is called fatherhood. I can't believe you would bring up paying my way through life as of the age of three. Mediocre amounts of cash that's given inconsistently doesn't amount to being a good father and asking to not see us for quite a period of time shows just how much money doesn't solve problems. I suggest you look into that further before you go through that cycle again with Daniel when you and Kim, lets face it, end up getting divorced. You just use and discard everyone who's ever been in your life and that's terrible.
I'm going to be hanging around so call me, and we'll hang out. it's just a matter of me coming eventually to the conclusion that i really actually don't care. it's just a father figure i never had, and it's fucked me up already anyway.
Current Location: bran's house
Current Music: like..alaska